GIR Meets Mr Potatohead
by Darth Unagi
Summary: The title is self explanatory.


I don't own Invader Zim. Enjoy.

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GIR was sitting on the couch, watching The Scary Monkey Show. Oh, how he loved that monkey. He stared, entranced by the rabid ball of fur and dirt on the television. But then, GIR was shaken out of his stupor when the program went to commercials.

_"...Guaranteed to make you explode or your money back!" _a fat, ugly man was saying. Then that ad ended and a new one came on.

_"Hello, miserable people! Guess what this Wednesday is that will make your life less miserable?!" _a guy in a taco suit was saying._ "Don't know? Then come to KRAZY TACO! where we will be having an all-you-can-eat taco buffet for just ONE DOLLAR! That's right! ONE DOLLAR! So get over to Krazy Taco before it's TOO LATE, or be shunned from all civilized society! SWEET JUMPING CHILI BEANS I'M CRAZY!!!"_

GIR stared in awe at the T.V. TODAY was Wednesday! "Must obey the taco man..." he said in monotone. GIR got up and walked outside, not even bothering to use the door.

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Five minutes later the little green "dog" was standing outside the almighty fortress of Krazy Taco. Eagerly, he ran through the doors to get unlimited tacos for just ONE DOLLAR!!!!

When he entered the fast-food emporium, GIR was met by utter commotion. One of the cashiers was having a heated argument with what appeared to be a... talking potato.

"Look, all I want is my ONE DOLLAR taco buffet!" the sentient vegetable was yelling. The cashier did not look happy at all.

"Sir, for the last time, Krazy Taco does NOT serve potatoes!"

"What, you bastards got a problem with potatoes?!"

"Yes! Ever since the 1964 Potato Rebellion, when you stupid potatoes tried to take over the Earth! You morons destroyed 98 percent of all Krazy Taco locations in the world!"

"Well, can't we just forget about the past and make the best of the present?" the potato said with a false smile.

The cashier was not fooled. "NO!" he shouted, and booted the insane potato out of the restaurant. GIR looked after the talking spud, and suddenly forgot all about his tacos. "Potaaatoooo..." he chanted, and walked out of Krazy Taco.

GIR approached the potato, who was sitting on the sidewalk rubbing his head. "Assholes," muttered the humiliated tuber angrily. "Kick me out. I'll show those racist bastards. Yeah... they won't know what hit 'em."

"HI!" shouted GIR happily. The potato stared at him.

"Uh, hi," replied the veggie, not exactly sure what to think of this talking green dog with a zipper down its front.

"I'm GIR!" said the dog, waving in the potato's face.

"I'm Mr. Potatohead," said the newly-titled Mr. Potatohead.

"Let's go play at my house!" screamed GIR.

"I don't know, I really should be getting home..." But the dog that was capable of having semi-intelligent conversations grabbed his arm and said, "COME ON!!!"

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Mr. Potatohead stared rather uneasily at the lopsided house in front of him. But, before he could protest, GIR dragged him inside.

He looked around the interior. He took in the tiled floor, huge T.V., and large picture of a green monkey hanging above the couch. _Hmm... whoever owns this house certainly has strange taste... _he thought.

He was too busy wondering about the home decor to notice GIR locking the door.

"So, little doggy, what do you want to play?" asked Mr. Potatohead.

"Let's play... EAT THE POTATO!!!" GIR opened his head, ripping off his doggy disguise, and pulled out a fork and knife. His eyes blazed red.

"Uh-oh." The vegetable screamed and ran for the door, but yelled in dismay when he found it was locked. He sprinted towards a window, but it was locked, too.

Finally, GIR had him cornered. He licked his metallic lips, raised the knife and fork over his head, and--

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

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GIR sat in the middle of the checkered floor, shoving baked potato into his mouth. He had a happy grin on his face, and his eyes had faded from red back to their normal cyan. "Mmm... Yummy!"


End file.
